From High School Nerd to Vegas Showgirl

I grew up watching ‘Saved By The Bell’. I loved it and still do, I’ll watch it if it’s on. I still know the opening song. To me that show was just awesome. I still can relate to story lines that appeared on the show and I was years behind the characters age wise. I didn’t start high school until the 2000’s but so much of the show stayed true.

My favourite character was Lisa, she wasn’t like me but that’s part of that I liked. I was a tomboy, she a fashionista. It didn’t matter, I liked her. I liked that she wasn’t like me, I was always closer to Jesse. Which is why I’m writing this.

Since we had the four month immunizations and the resulting fever there were more and longer naps this weekend. To kill some of those hours since Daddy was doing overtime I watched a couple movies. I finally saw ‘The Help’ and of course it was fantastic, and reminds me how truly greatful I am to live in an age where that sort of discrimination is no longer condoned or tolerated, although I am in Canada and not the South.That’s not what I’m writing about really. I’m writing about ‘Showgirls’.

All I could think as the end credits started to roll was ‘Jesse Spano, I’ll never forgive you for crapping all over ‘Saved By The Bell’ by being in this garbage.’ Really, that’s my Facebook status at the moment. Ironically ‘Showgirls’ was sort of the actresses ‘I’m free!’ movie, coming out as an adult actor and no longer a teen sensation.

What a come out. Tits and Ass all up in my face, like every 5 minutes or so. I started to feel like I was watching a wannabe artistic porn. It was that bad. All I kept thinking was ‘Tsk tsk, what would Slater say’ or ‘Good grief, put it away!’. Sometimes it was something more innocent, I did notice the entertainment director or whatever was the villan from the original Flinstone’s movie, again another childhood memory Boobed and Assed up for me.

Nudity doesn’t bother me normally. I don’t mind when it has a point or carries the story further, but this just seemed gratuitous. Women being naked for the sake of being naked. I know it’s an ‘R’ rated movie and about Vegas Showgirls, I know. But geez, the story itself was pretty awful too. Again, like a wannabe artisy porn, trying to class themselves up with tension filled scenes and bad dialogue.

It hurt. It hurt in that part of your heart where you hold treasured childhood memories. Like someone had taken a lit match to a few of them. Funny thing is I’ve been watching the CSI: Miami episodes with Elizabeth Berkley as Horatio’s ex-girlfriend, and she reminds me of a grown up conniving Jesse. I like it and the actress but I hate that I went and spent nearly 2.5 hours that I can never get back on that wasted strip of film.

This isn’t a movie synopsis or a compare and contrast or a critique. This is just me venting online without Trolling IMDB forums about how bad I thought the movie was and how it stomped on one of my favourite childhood shows. I know some people like/love it, why else would there be those special edition boxes at the store, but I am not one of them and fully intend on going the rest of my natural life without ever seeing it again if I can. If I wanted to see that much Tits and Ass I would have just stood in front of a mirror naked, probably would have been less disappointing stretch marks and all. And, as a parent I fully agree with Chris rock when he said ‘ I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the pole. Keep my baby off the pole!’

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