Tag Archive | hospital

No Longer A Baby


Little Miss is no longer a baby. She’s offically a toddler now. Its both thrilling and heartbreaking to me. So much has changed since C and I brought her home as a tiny new born who was 100% dependant on us to keep her safe, happy and whole.

The journey Little Miss and I took to get her out safely was a long and often scary road. I had contractions at 20 weeks and then a placental abruption at 26, causing a week long stay at Sunnybrook Hospital in the high risk unit until we were stablized.  Once i was released i was on modified bedrest until my water broke at 36 weeks. Even my labour was unusual.

My water broke and there were no contractions for another 4 hrs, then they went from 20 minutes to 2 minutes apart in an hr. I had always told myself when I went into labour I wanted everything to quickly and would use mind over matter to ensure it happened. Didn’t work. Little Miss went into fetal distress and we ended up having an emergency C-section. It was not an easy time for our family. Even the first few weeks post birth were rough with serious medical issues.

When I look back on it all would I change anything? No, because every single one of those moments good or bad have helped shape who Little Miss is as a person and our relationship with her. I wish things had been more easy but not at the risk our family wouldn’t be where it is today.

Every new accomplishment is exciting and something we look forward to witnessing. Even the simple little things like figuring out to push a button a particular way if fascinating to me. Terrifying as well at time but fascinating too. A perfect example of this mixture or awe and fear would be the stairs. Little Miss is a stair climbing pro now and has decided this means she wants to learn how to descend them as well, not on her bum but standing like we do.

I can only imagine what the next year or 5 years or even 10 years wilk bring (probably a lot of grey hairs) but I can wait to see where it all takes us. This is the most important journey we’re taking in our lives; raising a child, and I’m so honoured and proud to have Little Miss as my daughter.



This video is causing a bit of a controversy in Toronto at the moment because the founder Humanize Birth rights group, Kalina Christoff, says it’s inapporpriate. As some one who had a high risk pregnancy resulting in having to spend a week at Sunnybrook in their High Risk unit as well as labouring there and then having an emergency C-Section at Sunnybrook I personally am going to support it and stand up for it. I think it’s funny and silly. I dealt with the people at the hospital frequently throughout the entirety of my third trimester and they were wonderfully compassionate and caring. This video is just a project done by students at the University of Toronto and never was meant to be harmful. Having a baby is life changing and can be terrifying for some people given the circumstances, to me this video shows that the people who spend their days saving lives/bringing life into being have a sense of humour. That’s important to me because as serious a giving birth is there are moments of ridiculousness as well during the process and seeing them appreciate and acknowledge it means they are more in touch with the reality of birth than some people are.

Watch and enjoy or don’t. I enjoy and hope you do too but if not I’m sorry you disagree.

Make The Choice

Since the new year there have been tons of news stories about breast feeding vs. formula and which is the best option. New York City’s mayor has even gotten in on the debate and some hospitals rush to put a baby on formula. I know not all hospitals are like that and are very pro breast milk. People fromm both sides of the debate are stating their opinions and the whys behind them.

I knew as soon as I foundout we were pregnant I was going to do everything in my power to breast feed. Costs alone make it a smart choice while you’re still adjusting to a smaller family incame than when both ‘C’ and I were working full time. It also is supposed to have many health benefits and immunity boosters so I figured why not.

Little Miss came into this world in a blaze or drama, worry and doctor administered drugs. Due to all these factors it wasn’t until she was nearly 3 hours old that I was able to open my eyes let alone hold her. She was also nearly 4 weeks early. We had latching problems from the get go. Over the next 2 weeks we visited the breast feeding clinic at Sunnybrook Hospital 4 times after we were discharged. Things were starting to get better, we still had to pump sometimes because her jaw wasn’t strong enough but she was on the breast maybe 50% of her feeds.

Then we ended up at the Hospital for Sick Children for a week with Little Miss in an oxygen box for most of it. She couldn’t be taken out with her breathing nearly stopping and her oxygen levels becoming dangerously low. After that we were strictly bottle feeding her breast milk. I had to pump in the beginning every 4 hours for a total of 6 times a day to establish a solid milk supply. It was inconvient and sometimes very uncomfortable. Unlike breast feeding you can’t just bring a pump into bed with you like you do a baby. You have to sit up and then wash and sterilize it all as well as store the milk. It’s a process.

Since that hospital visit 6 months ago I’ve kept it up now only pumping 5 times a day and come september probably will drop another. As we slowly introduced food I don’t need to make as much. As I said early it can be very inconvient but at times was fairly handy. I always knew how much she was getting and never had to guess, which was especially important for the first few weeks post hospital but also meant I always knew when I needed to do it and could work my schedule around it in the early days since how many places do you really go with a sickly newborn, right?

My pumps have all been travel friendly and I’ve taken them with me to friends houses and all the way to Ottawa. Last week my friend ‘S’ who I mentioned lost her son at 23 weeks after 12 minutes of fighting to breathe had to go back to Sunnybrook Hospital for a Biopsy on her cervix. Little Miss and I went with her so she wasn’t alone before or after. It was a small proceedure before the actual removal next month. Since she was feeling up to it and didn’t want to go home we decided to go to the Eaton Centre and wonder around as well as do lunch and a bit of baby shower shopping. I had brought the pump in case something like that was what we decided to do.

The Eaton Centre has been undergoing massive renovations over the last few years including a new modernized food court with new washrooms. Just outside the entrance to the women’s washroom is a nursing room with an externally locked door you have to buzzed into. Now, I fully understand and appreciate this, it protects women who are feeling vulnrable from prying eyes and gives them a quiet and calm place to settle a child for feeding. I had to pump while we were there. It was time and Little Miss needed more milk. I had two choices; use a handicapped stall in a busy dirtier washroom or go into the Nursing room where there’s a cleaner environment and more privacy. I decided of course on the NUrsing room, or how else would I be able to give my daughter a fresh bottle knowing it had been pumped in a toilet stall.

I buzzed at the door and was asked where my child was. They obviously have a camera watching the door. I calmly told them she was with her aunt in the food court and I needed to pump. The man at the other end told me ‘No, you must have a child and need to breast feed.’ A fair enough reply when you think about it until I said she can’t latch and I pump to give her milk and had to do so then. I still got a ‘No.’ I don’t normally threaten people and still don’t threaten the gaurd, I just said he didn’t want the public fallout from when I called the news stations and told them he, his company and the Eaton Centre were discriminating against a mother for trying to feed her child. Mean I know, but effective. I was quickly allowed in and went into a private room within the Nursing area to pump. No one was bothered and I got to give Little Miss fresh milk.

In a world where breast feeding is constantly stated as being the best choice and if you can’t do it directly pumping is the next best choice why are people, both men and women so negative against it? People give me strange looks when they find out and ask why I haven’t just switched to formula or I get treated differently when I say I still need the same basic treatment somewhere in order to pump as a mother does to feed. Why in a time where women have the option of pumping to still provide breast milk if the baby can’t or won’t latch are we treating them liek lesser beings? Do you know how hard it is and how dedicated you have to be to do it full time for more then a few days/weeks? It’s literally blood, sweat and tears at times and I would like to think somewhere someday people will stand up and say ‘Good job for trying’. It isn’t easy and people shouldn’t be making it any harder on them for making that choice and choosing to stick with it.

Weekend Away

So on Friday I wrote about being on Via Rail on our way to visit family. We were headed to my Dad’s for the weekend to help him move and Little Miss came along to visit and be cute. We also had to train it back home Sunday evening. After I wrote I met the most interesting man on the train who ended up sharing the four seater family area with us. He was great, talked gibberish with Little Miss and regaled my brother and I with peices of his life story. Was truly amazing and fascinating. He was trying to distract himself from is ultimate destination as much as possible and us letting seemed to help, as well as gave me a new contact here in Toronto for when I am ready to go back to work and for my brother who is currently job hunting.

My Dad is moving, not away, but in with his girlfriend/fiancee. It’s not far but does mean he’s leaving the house that he grew up in and then my brothers and I grew up in, 3 generations have lived in that house and now we’re leaving it. There are just under 50 years worth of family memories scattered about that house. It’s actually quite saddening to me to realize that Little Miss won’t get to run and play in the yard that I did or learn to ride a bike or camp in a tent in the yard that I did all of these things.

My grandfather and Dad moved into the house when my Dad was a little boy after his Mom died from MS. She wasn’t even 30. My dad spent his formative years there and at my great-grandparents one town over. Even after my Dad moved to Toronto my grandfather stayed and lived there until his second heart surgery and my parents break up, when my Dad brought us three children there to live.

This past weekend we continued the sorting of memories into three piles; keepsake/heirlooms, junk and give away. It was hard. Not all of it, course my old barbies or hot wheels were an easy choice for trash or give away but certain things were hard to decide if they should be kept or not with the limited storage space we’re keeping.

Some Keepsakes/Heirlooms

1. My grandmothers wedding dress. Yes, her WEDDING dress. In pristine condition only a tiny bit of yellowing due to age. She was more petite than I so it isn’t as if I’ll wear it at my wedding but it’s a piece of one of the most important days of her short life and something solid for my Dad to help remember her by.

2. My grandfathers war medals. We knew they were somewhere but he never talked about WW2 ever with any of us, even my Dad, he refused to bring the horror of the past into the present. To see medals honouring him for something he refused to acknowledge was a heavy moment.

3. My Dad’s baby bib. Maybe that sounds silly but ‘C’ and I are into retro and this bib is as 50’s retro as you can get style wise, it’s from the 50’s. I brought that home and we’ll frame it and put it in the babies room.

4. My grandparents wedding china. That’s for me when we buy our house. It’s gorgeous bone china from England with gold filigree and roses on it. We looked it up on a whim and the value is ridiculous, definitely a valued heirloom in more ways than one.

5. My grandfathers Lock Box with family papers and collectors coins. some of the papers were reciepts for things like the family dining table which we found out is 104 years old, or the mantle clock which is from the 1890’s. None of us realized how many large items in the house were antique.

Things that we decided to give away went through two stages; the first being on the lawn for a day with a free sign and then to a donation centre. Saved us additional effort on lifting and carting stuff off. The surprising thing was how quick some things went and what they were. Old chairs needing all new upholstry and stuffing and old childrens toys went the fastest while a TV still in perfectly good working order didn’t get taken and was given to charity instead.

So of course as the weekend was a working weekend it went by very quickly. We still got in family visiting but no friend visits really, which is ok since we’ll be back up in a few weeks, but the family was nice. We made dinner altogether and had homme made breakfasts. There was even a surprise visit from one brother who was supposed to be in Ottawa but managed to come visit when he heard his niece was in town. We ad gotten our train tickets on sale after the CP Rail strike and got off in Fallowfield from Toronto and were supposed to catch our train home from there as well, instead on the Saturday we called and had them edit the tickets so we could board in Kingston due to a family hospitalization.

So, sunday evening we caught the train from Kingston to go home. It was late, 15 minutes late. Not bad until we kept getting delayed and held over at every station after that. We were just over an hour late getting into Toronto, which is not the latest I’ve even been home but not good when you have a baby and are pumping. Doubly not good when your baby who hasn’t pooped all weekend decides to go through 4, count them 4, diapers on a 3 hour train ride with diarrhea. Thank goodness she didn’t explode out of her diaper while we were on the trains but it did happen later. Little Miss loves to travel so far, she finds the people and the views fascinating. She loves eye flirting with people and smilling doolily at them and staring out the windows transfixed as the countryside glides by, but that doesn’t mean when she decided she was tired and Mommy was not a good enough bed that she didn’t put up a bit of a fuss. We just managed to hold off a full scale baby freak out until home but it was a VERY close call.

Roundtrip train travel experience #2 was an overall success and since we will have to do it again before the end of July that’s a relief. We’ll see if this love of trains continues as Little Miss gets older.

Scariest week of my life…

ImageSo I fully know it has been quite awhile since I last wrote. In fact since just after I had the princess. Let me explain… My daughter got sick, we’ll call her ‘M’.

By sick I don’t just mean a tiny fever or anything, I mean hospitalized sick. It all started the day I last posted actually. She coughed and sneezed. Not a big deal right? Well 2 days later she choked on nothing and started going red. Not being an idiot I didn’t wait for her to turn blue before I started lightly smacking her back to help her breathe again. It only happened 2-3 times that day. 2 days later it wouldn’t stop happening, at one point it was 3 times in 10 minutes. I decided to call Ontario Telehealth and get medical opinion on top of my own desire to take her to see a doctor. She did the choking thing while I was speaking with the nurse. They told me not to wait for a Dr appointment and to take her to the hospital, so off we went.

Because she is and was so young it didn’t take long to get in to see the ER doctors. They told us it was just a cold, vacuumed her nose out since she was almost unable to breathe out of her nose and told us to go home and continue suctioning her nose and watch for a fever. We went home and over the next few days I became paraniod and convinced it was more than ‘just a cold’.

Monday morning I called my health centre and bullied my way into an appointment that day instead of waiting until that Thursday to see them when we had a scheduled appointment. I’m so very glad and grateful for New Mom Paranoia. The nurse brought us in and stripped the baby to her diaper and started listening to her chest. She did this for only a moment before telling me to wait and leaving the room. When the nurse returned she came back with the doctor. They both did a series of tests and then told me to dress her quickly that they were rushing us to the hospital. They were calling for a ride already and writing out a report for the ER.

We got to the ER at The Hospital for Sick Children and I called ‘C’ telling him what I knew so far. He’s working midnights for his company at the moment so he came rushing with her bag of stuff while we waited for a room. When they finally saw ‘M’ the doctors told us immediately that she would be staying at least overnight and they were just waiting for a room for her. While we waited they hooked her up to a monitor that checked her oxygen levels and heart rate as well as started an IV.

Finally around 9 pm we were taken upstairs to our own room and given some more information on what exactly was wrong. ‘M’ has RSV, which stands for Respiratory syncytial virus. If you look it up the sites say it isn’t a huge concern except in babies under 3 months. ‘M’ at the point was 2 weeks 5 days upon admittance. Since it’s a virus there is no medication that can be given to ‘cure’ it, you have to let it run its course and when a baby is admitted it’s usually so the medical staff and help support the baby in their recovery over the worst part of the virus.

We were admitted Monday evening and it seemed that things weren’t getting worse but they also weren’t getting any better until Tuesday night when her oxygen levels started to drop into the danger zone and the doctors decided to put her in what’s called and oxygen hood. Basically, a large box with one side as a flap for the childs body and a tube connected to a humidified supply of air to assist her in getting a proper oxygen supply. We could see this helped immediately, except during feedings when we had to take her out of the box.

You’d think that would be awful enough right? Well, Wednesday afternoon after a feeding ‘C’ was holding her when ‘M’ stopped breathing… Literally going white and not moving. I was watching her and noticed her chest stopped rising and falling. I started shaking her. He father stayed calm not fully realizing what was happening when all the monitors started going off. My jostling got her breeathing again but the monitors had registered it for a bit after her oxygen and heart rate levels were WAY below normal. The nurses came running and ‘M’ ended up being hooked up to all those heart monitors you see on TV when some one has had a heart attack, as well as having to have and EKG and chest X-ray.

Chest X-rays on a baby are absolutely traumatic, not for babies since at 3 weeks they won’t remember but for the parents. I felt like I was torturing her. Both she and I were crying, her because she was sick and scared, me because felt like I was hurting her and a terrible mom for letting it come to that. After the X-ray the did the EKG in her room, which came back normal. Her X-ray showed that on top of the RSV she also had Bronciolitis, another lung virus which can be a complication of the RSV.

We ended up staying at the hospital until Saturday early afternoon. It was so gratifying to be able to bring her home, more so than first first trip home after birth because that trip was exciting with a new baby and this one was us bring our sick baby home finally because she was out of the danger zone. After being discharged we had to see ‘M’s family doctor as soon as possible, which ended up being Tuesday due to Family Day on Monday. Since going home we found out she’d lost 4 ounces which isn’t terrible but still worrying. I’m now constantly checking to see that she’s breathing steadily and not having any problems when she coughs, although she does still do the choking thing occassionally but is getting better slowly.

Now that things have settled again i should be able to start writing more regularly like I said I would last time.

The Princess Has Arrived

So once again it’s been a bit since I last posted but things got a little crazy. I remember writing about how I was going to start trying those ‘tips’ for encouraging labour from online… Never got to try any out.

Last Tuesday afternoon ‘C’ started his night shifts and a girl friend who is 16 weeks aong now in her pregnancy came over. We planned on watching a movie and having pizza and just gabbing and chatting obsessively about babies and pregnancy. We did all of those things, including joking about me going into labour while she was over or very soon anyways. This was decided to possibly happen soon since that morning I’d had a dream I had gone into labour and awoke in the push position. Weird I know.

Anyways, we spent several happy hours thusly and around 9pm she had to head home. I waddled with her to her car and told her to at least text me so I knew she arrived safely. Then I waddled, huffed and puffed my way up to the apartment. I puttered around and did a few dishes while feeling restless the whole time. I got a text around 9:30pm letting me know she was home safe and sound and we kept on texting. I was alos lying on the loveseat and surfing online when all of the sudden I felt a squirt between my legs. Anyone whose been very pregnant knows it can be hard to gauge bathroom necessity, so my first thought was ‘Oh no! I peed myself’. I jumped up and while trying to clench desperately and rush to the washroom it kept coming. While leaking through my second pair of panties I decided it was definately my water had broken, but I was still contraction free. As I mentioned in previous posts I`ve not had the easiest pregnany so I called ‘C’ and got his voicemail. I hung up and sent him a text saying ‘I think my water broke’ and while waiting for a reply called the hospitals materinty triage.

The triage took my information and number and said the Dr would call me back with what they wanted me to do. While I waited ‘C’ walked in the door, aqbout 7 minutes after I sent the text. My first thought was ‘Wow, that was quick getting home’. So I asked if he’s gotten my text. He got a deer in the head lights look and checked his phone. I could tell when he’d finished reading because his eyes rolled, he swayed and then he started running around like a chicken with no head jibbering about everything he still needed to do and pack. Finally I told him to take a shower since he wouldn’t get another chance until after thw birth.

The triage called back and told us even though there were no contractions they thought it was safest if I came in sooner than later. I got the mister out of the shower and figured I should follow suit and had just a quick one while he packed some things for himself in my nag that had been sitting by the door for the last few weeks. Finally we headed to the hospital.

We walked into the triage right around 12am Wednesday morning and they had me on a bed and a Dr in the room within 5 minutes. They did a quick internal to verify my water had broken and waited to see if contractions had started. At this point I still had none so they decided to induce me. I was moved into a delivery room and ironically enough contractions started just before 1am. They were about 18-20 minutes apart but quite intense. They called the anesthesiologist in to go over an epidural with me. I wanted drugs, I don’t mind some pain but I’m not a glutton for it, pfft, I so wanted drugs, so the Dr said he was going to get the paperwork and get set up and we would started the epidural around 2am.

By the time he was back and we were ready to start my contractions had gone from 18 minutes to literally 2 minutes apart and I hadn`t been induced yet. They hurt like a B*tch let me tell you. They also made it extra work to get the epidural done since they were coming so frequently and you have to stay as still as possible in a hunched over position for the needle. It took about 45 minutes to get it done due to them and I was exhausted by then. I`d been up since 5:30am Tuesday morning and it takes a lot of effort and will to sit still during a contraction. I remember shutting my eyes and just breathing deeply for several minutes c alming myself and going over some meditatons I had learnt in a pain management course.

All of the sudden I heard monitors beeping loudly and a nurse and Dr rushing around and speaking medicalese at eachother while they handed `C`an oxygen mask and told him to hold it over my face. I had no clue what was happening only that it was obviously bad. They started rolling me from side to side and then pushing on my belly before finally positioning my legs around like I was a gymnist and having to go in and put a monitor in the babies head internally while trying to apparently get her breathing right again. It turns out something in the labour was either hurting her or causing distress and her heartrate would start to bottom out. They still aren`t exactly sure why this happened. It also stopped my dilation, I`d been at 4cm before this happened and when they checked after her heartrate settled it was no longer progressing.

Over the next 7.5 hours this bottoming out would happen 5 more times going for longer and causing the Dr`s to have to go to greater lenths to get her back to a safe rate and pace, while also causing my dilation to regress. Terrifying when you think about it really. Finally one of the Dr`s came in and told us essentially we had a 3-5% chance of having everything get better and having a vaginal birth but they thought a C-Section would be best. They told us we could say `yes`then and we would go into the OR within the next hour or so and `C`would be allowed with me and I would still be awake. They warned us that if we decided to wait it out hoping for the best and her heartrate dropped again they would have to to an emergancy C-Section in which they would have to put me fully under and `C` wouldn`t be allowed in the OR due to the seriousness to the situation… Guess what option we went with.

So we were having a C-Section now. They were correct in it only taking about an hour before were were being led into the OR. I went in first and they upped my epidural to completely numb me from the chest down while strapping my onto the bed with my arms outspread like something out of an episode of Greys Anatomy. Finally it was time to start and `C`was led in. I was groggy for this part but still aware, just heavy feeling. I remember hearing her frst cries and thinking `Thank goodness!` before they started to evacuate the placenta and whatever else they do down there. Unfortuntaley it started to burn and I mean BURN, as in think of the worst sunburn you`ve ever had and imagine someone walking up to you and full tilt smacking it, but deep inside as well as outside.

They had to up the drugs greatly which threw me for a wicked loop. I remember feeling like things were in super slow motion and at one point trying to say to the Dr `I`m high as shit.`which I was told later I said 7-8 times causing the nurses to giggle. My drug dreams I remember not at all detail wise, but I do remember some being good and some being scary. `C`said he could tell when they were bad because I would look terrified. He also said I looked like a rag doll flopping about on the table due to the Dr`s ministrations to get out the placenta and sew me back up. I remember none of this thankfully.

I woke up around 3pm in the recovery room seeing 5 of everything, unable to really process anything let alone hold the baby. But once I was more aware and sobered up I got to finally hold her and see her. PERFECTION. She was born on January 25th at 1:43pm weighing 7lbs exactly and measuring 19 inches. She was 2 weeks to ther day early. Today she turned 6 days.

Time for a feeding. Will write again tomorrow with details of the post delivery stay and whatnot.

My first Post

So a little background… I’m 36 weeks pregnant with my first child, a little girl. This was a total surprise as we weren’t trying to get pregnant, but here we are. And hey, it could be worse, we’ve been together over 4 years and living together nearly as long. This surprise just came a bit ahead of plan. We’re excited but at the same time incredibly stressed as well. This hasn’t been a walk in the park.

Finding out we were expecting was interesting. We were on the pill and had never had any scares, so when my period was late it wasn’t overly concerning since I had never been fully predictable even on the pill. Finally 5 days later my best friend talked me into taking a test. Since I didn’t really believe anything would come of it I pulled a cheapy and spent a whopping $2.50 at Dollarama on 2 tests. Yes, Dollarama and made my way to her place to take the first test. Those suckers are accurate! It changed to positive immediately. Since she’d just had a baby in March of course once it sank in we did the girly squealing and the ‘OMG what if they are besties like us or get married’ crazy imaginings that girls all secetly harbour. After an hour or so I made the trip home to tell the Mister, who we’ll call ‘C’.

When I got home I didn’t really have a plan on how I was going to tell him, it just came down to doing it in the least dramatic way I could think of ( I’m a teeny tiny bit of an over-dramatic). So I decided to play it normal. Our usual habit is when the last person gets home we go into the bedroom and lie down to re-hash our days together. Just a way we stay connected in this crazy busy world. So we’re on the bed and it just popped out. C’s reply?

‘How did this happen?!’

‘Do you really need a crash course in sex-ed?’ I asked since I was just as flabbergasted that it had happened.

Once he’d gotten over the shock I got the usual ‘Are you sure’ that most guys give us. So we went and did the second test I’d bought. LoL, looking back I think it’s pretty funny that even after we took the test ‘C’ said he couldn’t believe it since it was a dollar store test, so out he went to SDM (Shoppers Drug Mart) to buy a Clearblue one. He bought one that tells you how far along you are roughly. 5 Weeks.

5 Weeks and we hadn’t known. I’m not a party girl or anything close but I’d had friends down and had definitey gone out drinking a few nights whil they visited. This was all I could think about as well as the fact that I take daily medication for a back problem. Scary scary thoughts.

Ironically, I had my yearly physical booked for a few days later, so luckily I was able to see my family Dr quickly. I made my mom come with me to tell her since I’m a chicken and she’s been my Dr since I was a bump in my mom’s belly. She knows EVERYTHING about me and likes to shake her finger at me. We got everything figured out, like my meds and how we were going to proceed. I was officially walking arounf with a bun in the oven.

We kept our news quiet as possible but it wasn’t the easiest thing to do since I got hit with some fairly strong morning sickness that I still get occasionally. So, my work figured it out fairly early on. Other than the morning sickness I had a great early pregnancy, I’m one of the few lucky women with back problems whose pain actually gets better while pregnant due to all the hormones. Then things started to get wonky around 20 weeks. I ended up falling and having a back spasm, which in turn caused some contractions. Luckily the doctors managed to stop them. Then we found out at the anatomy ultrasound the baby had a tiny whole in one ventricle that had to be watched. We also didn’t know what she was because she kept hiding her bits.

Finally we got the good news that the hole seemed to have closed itself up and things were back on track, but still no sex so we booked and appointment for a 3D scan. First off, it was amazing! They were great and we could have a live feed set up for family so they could watch it while we went and see and hear what we did. I remember going in and telling them I wouldn’t leave if they didn’t tell if the baby was a boy or girl. Not only did we FINALLY know it was a girl we got to see what she looked like. Her eyes, her nose her little hands, everything. I highly recommend them, even if it is out of pocket. We and our families were so excited.

This excitement lasted a whole 2.5 weeks and then whiile at work one day I started to bleed and get stabbing pains. I called the Dr anf was told to go to my delivery hospital immediately. My hospital does 25% of all high risk deliveries in Canada, so it’s a good place to be if you’re early and something goes wrong, which obviously something had. They let me go home since the bleeding seemed to have stopped but I had an ultrasound thast found a bleed under the placenta. The doctors decided it was a subchorionic lake and that I couldn’t work for week and go back for another scan in a week and they’d see how things were then.

A week later I go back. I’d started bleeding again the night before, when the doctor heard this he sent me up to the neonatal triage. Poor ‘C’, he gets the first text saying ‘Babe, they sent me up to triage to get checked again’. He says he’s on his way. Before he can get there I send him another one saying something like ‘Oh, now its an overnight.’ Poor guy, he walks into my room and the doctors tell us it’s going to be until Monday at the soonest before I can go home, it was Friday.  I ended up in the High Rick Unti for 6 days, got the steriods and was diasnosed with a placenta abruption, which means a part of the placenta was tearing away from the uterus wall.

Upon being released to go home I was put on modified bed rest and given a list of things I was allowed to do instead of not allowed to do since the one of approved activites was shorter. Some out the things I can no longer do?

1. Sex

2. Move at any speed faster than a walk

3. Have a bath

4. Laundry

5. Anthing that uses effort.

Unless I’m on the way to the doctors I’m not even supposed to go outside without an escort. I’m not even supposed to take showers alone unless its a quick wash one, if I want a longer one ‘C’ has to be home to help me. It’s absolutely infuriating for someone whose always been a go getter and independant. I’m also a bit of a jitter bug. I don’t walk, I dance about normally. It’s driving me crazy to be so sedentary.

I imagine you’re thinking that’s all right? Nope. I have ultrasounds now every 2 weeksish and the one I had right before Christmas showed a 20% slow down in fetal growth. Which is actually quite concerning this late in the ball game especially after getting the steroids. Also, the bleeding started again this past Saturday which caused another visit to the hospital. But they did say the abruption is holding steady, not getting better but not getting worse.

We’ll see how things go on Monday when I see the Dr again. I’m starting to feel that since she’ll be considered full term next week that maybe I should try to talk to her about how  great it would be if she came in the next week or so. Like how her mommy and daddy will be here as well as her aunts and uncles and grandparents. Also how it will be warm and comforting at home and how we’ll take such good care of her. Would also be nice to finally meet the little drama queen after all this time and concern. What does she look like now? Who will she look like? And so on. But I also know the longer she stays put the better for her.