Tag Archive | Milestones

Heart Attacks and Families

I’ve been gone for most of this year so far and finally feel settled down enough to come back. A lot has gone on. I last wrote just before Little Miss turned one and since then so much has happened.

C ended up with a terrible throat infection that was so bad he went without solids for nearly a week and just as he was on the mend Little Miss got sick as well. I ended up having to take a few days off work to look after the both of them even though on the final day I felt it might not have been necessary. It was. So very necessary.

The second weekend in February C had a minor heart attack. He’s 26. If I had been as work he would have been home alone with a sleeping one year old and unable to do anything about it. I honestly thought he was joking around when he came out of the bedroom saying his heart hurt. I remembered all those commercials about pain or numbness in your left side and asked about that. He told me it didn’t hurt but the lower half of his arm felt like pins and needles and that his chest felt heavy like someone was pushing on it on top of the heart pain. I called Ontario Telehealth not wanting to over-react and while I was on the phone with them C became clammy, went ash grey with dark sunken eyes and his limbs started to jerk and twitch lightly. They put me on with 911 and the ambulance showed up less than 10 minutes later. I had to send C off on his own while I waited for my mom to come to take care of the baby. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I had to make sure Little Miss was taken care of and he needed medical attention more than me at his side. I made sure I knew which hospital they were headed to and then set about packing a bag for the baby.

That was one of the longest and scariest feeling waits of my life and if you’ve read my older posts you know I spent my entire 3rd trimester on modified bed rest waiting for Little Miss reach term without any further complications or dangers. When I walked into C’s bed area it was heart wrenching. He was in and out of consciousness while hooked up to all sorts of machines and monitors attached all over his torso. His heart rate was still up around 160. Whenever he would wake up he would have no real clue of what was going on or where he was. When he finally started to become aware it was slow and took several times explaining before he was able to retain it all.

Since then C has been diagnosed with a heart condition that will eventually result in a need for a pacemaker and has the possibility of being hereditarily passed on to our children, they will have to be checked for it as they get older too. He also now has had to make some very drastic changes to his diet. He is no longer allowed to have caffeine, which means no more coffee or tea as well as no more chocolate. This is a man who was a 2-3 coffee a day kind of man, not an easy transition.

We also found just the day before his attack that we were pregnant. Yes, almost immediately after we had that miscarriage in December. In fact, after we had a dating scan we found out it was only weeks later that this baby was conceived. We were in shock. Funnily enough C has been more excited than I have been up until recently. I was paranoid after the miscarriage and how soon it was as well as worried about his health and then all of my (justified) fears from carrying Little Miss.

We are considered High Risk and are being monitored more closely than a standard pregnancy and as we get further into this pregnancy the monitoring will increase as well. After a woman has had a confirmed Placental Abruption once with every subsequent pregnancy the risk increases of it happening again. The doctors confirmed the miscarriage was due to this and so we’ve had two pregnancy’s where it’s occurred, one that ended in termination and the other in bed rest and early birth.

So far though everything has been very good. Last time I was sick throughout the entire pregnancy, even throwing up in labour. This time I’ve had a few rough days of nausea and a couple of barfing sessions but mostly it’s been smooth sailing. We are 16 weeks now and as we get further into it my worries have lessened, although I know that as I near the time of when everything went bad with Little Miss my anxiety will probably ramp back up into gear but for now I am enjoying everything. I even felt the baby move for the first time today at one of our check ups, apparently they don’t like having us listen to their heart beat and started bopping around to escape.

I also had a grandparent die in the midst of all of this. She had gone into the hospital in Kingston for heart surgery to remove some infected tissue and was unable to be resuscitated. It was a big jumble for awhile and we’re still dealing with the paper work her belongings. It’s going to be a bit longer until everything is settled and we can even sell her condo or decide what to do with it. The memorial and funeral were lovely, one of my step brothers created a memory DVD of photos and quotes in her honour that the funeral director offered him a part time job making them for other families. Most of the family there were in tears or had wet eyes at the end of it. It was beautiful.

There have also been many other smaller things that have kept me busy and away from the computer. I know that Little Miss is one 15 months old now but she’s hitting milestones left and right it seems. She got her first 3 molars in March all within a 2.5 week span and the 4th is just waiting to pop out. Not only can she walk now but she’s also running and trying to jump up and down. She’s also gotten very good with babies since we spend 2 days a week with Minnie who just turned 6 months and it’s about to go up to 3 days, good practice for when the new baby comes in the autumn.

I have no idea what is going to happen over the next little bit I hope to be back and more active now as things have started to finally settle down a bit here. We’re getting ready to become a 4 person family instead of 3 and get Little Miss as ready for the changes that will come with this as easily as we can for someone so young to understand. We will in the next few weeks find out if Little Miss will have a brother or a sister and although we’ll be happy either way it will be nice to know ahead of time to start buying baby necessities or saving ones we already have.

No Longer A Baby

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Little Miss is no longer a baby. She’s offically a toddler now. Its both thrilling and heartbreaking to me. So much has changed since C and I brought her home as a tiny new born who was 100% dependant on us to keep her safe, happy and whole.

The journey Little Miss and I took to get her out safely was a long and often scary road. I had contractions at 20 weeks and then a placental abruption at 26, causing a week long stay at Sunnybrook Hospital in the high risk unit until we were stablized.  Once i was released i was on modified bedrest until my water broke at 36 weeks. Even my labour was unusual.

My water broke and there were no contractions for another 4 hrs, then they went from 20 minutes to 2 minutes apart in an hr. I had always told myself when I went into labour I wanted everything to quickly and would use mind over matter to ensure it happened. Didn’t work. Little Miss went into fetal distress and we ended up having an emergency C-section. It was not an easy time for our family. Even the first few weeks post birth were rough with serious medical issues.

When I look back on it all would I change anything? No, because every single one of those moments good or bad have helped shape who Little Miss is as a person and our relationship with her. I wish things had been more easy but not at the risk our family wouldn’t be where it is today.

Every new accomplishment is exciting and something we look forward to witnessing. Even the simple little things like figuring out to push a button a particular way if fascinating to me. Terrifying as well at time but fascinating too. A perfect example of this mixture or awe and fear would be the stairs. Little Miss is a stair climbing pro now and has decided this means she wants to learn how to descend them as well, not on her bum but standing like we do.

I can only imagine what the next year or 5 years or even 10 years wilk bring (probably a lot of grey hairs) but I can wait to see where it all takes us. This is the most important journey we’re taking in our lives; raising a child, and I’m so honoured and proud to have Little Miss as my daughter.

I’m Back

I’ve been MIA for the last few weeks, I know. Sorry. Things just kept popping up and as one of my last few posts mentioned C and I were hit with a family issue. I’m back now and I’ll give a bit of an update.

I last posted before Christmas and this one was a first for Little Miss. With both families scattered about Ontario we ended up doing two Christmas’ here in the GTA and have yet to do one with my Dad and Co. up in the Ottawa region. Little Miss was thrilled to bits with all of her toys and loved being able to rip and tear the wrapping paper. She had no idea what was really going on but seeing family and getting new things to goober on and play with made her very happy. C and I promised we’d do a very low key holiday together this year and not do presents… we failed.  I got a matching ring and earring set and he got a new PS3. This year maybe we’ll be able to stick to our guns better.

Usually, New years is an evening of laughter, happiness, friends and a couple drinks. This year I had to work overnight so C and I had no real plans for the evening. In the couple of hours before I had to head out our fridge died. Full on died. Our super is dealing with a terribly high risk pregnancy and all the complications that arise due to them and wasn’t able to come until the 2nd. We didn’t get a new fridge until the 4th. It wasn’t awful, we had enough in our cupboards to get by and ordered out a bit but the cost of the situation stunk. $250. Yes, $250 is the estimated value of the food that was lost due to the death of our fridge. Ay any time of year that’s a crappy number but just after Christmas? Extra crappy. We’re still slowly replacing everything.

At the same time as the fridge died C developed some very painful gums. Upon a visit to the dentist after several days with no relief we discovered her needed a round of antibiotics to clear away an infection and then 2 teeth extracted. it was supposed to be an easy extraction until a root snapped and they literally had to dig it out. Simple became VERY complicated (the dentists words). C had refused the gas and was only using the needles so he was completely aware of what was happening. He also now needed much more powerful pain meds meaning he would be unable to take care of Little Miss. Unfortunately I had to work so we had a bit of a shuffle finding ulternative options. C ended up going to his Mothers for the night where someone could look in on him and make sure he took his meds and Little Miss ended up at Bestie’s while I was at work. My work at the taxi company is only Thurs-Sat and I work evenings keeping Little Miss out of daycare. This meant I wasn’t done until 2am. Luckily Bestie is only 20 mins away from my work so afterwards I went to her house and Little Miss and I had our first full non family overnighter. Little Miss did fantastically. She was very well behaved and loved spending all that time with Jay playing and perfecting her walking/running.

Since my last post I’ve also started a new job. I’m no longer a former nanny anymore. I’m back to being a nanny. At the moment it’s only part time since Minnie Mouse (Babie’s code name on here) is not yet 4 months old. Eventually it will all go full time as Mama D transititons back to full time work but for now we’re taking it easy. One of the happy benefits of this situation is the Little Miss gets to come along with me, meaning we still don’t need to worry about childcare for her yet. It also give Minnie someone to watch and see who’se similar in age which has been proven to help encourage littles to move forward in their milestone achievements. Little Miss also LOVES other babies and children. So far all of their encounters involve Little Miss petting her and trying to give Minnie toys or share her soother. It’s handy for both Little Miss and Minnie being together. Being in a house with 3 different full flights of stairs is a new developement for us as well. Little Miss is now a champion stair climber. It’s quite scary really since it keeps me on my toes ready to catch her and chase her down but I’m so impressed with how far she’s come.

This week Little Miss turns 1. It’s almost been a full year since that beautiful ball of smiles and energy burst into our lives in a such a dramatic way and I wouldn’t change a second of any of it. Every moment leading up to her birth and since are part of what makes our family so strong and compelete. We had her first party to celebrate this first year yesterday, yes it was party number 1 of 2. This one was for Little Miss to get together with all of her little friends and cause chaos in a safe enviornment. This coming weekend will be her family party where both families get together to celebrate. I forgot how busy a childs birthday party can be. Every single little girl was into anything and everything they could get their hands on. It was crazy and wonderful.

Now that I’m back up and things are less hectic around here I’ll be back to my at least once a week posting. Sorry I’ve been gone so long and a belated Happy New Years!

A Long And Rough Week

The past few days have been very busy as well as pretty awful for me. I started working again after a year off for maternity leave and sick leave due to complications with the pregnancy. I won’t lie and say I love my job (it would be a lie) but I do like the people I see and talk to as well as the constant challenge of it, but it’s still rough to go from being at home or out and about with Little Miss to having to work and be away from her.

Just as I was getting adjusted to this new schedule I started to feel off. I got a migraine for the first time since I was pregnant and then this past Sunday evening I started to cramp and spot. By Monday morning the cramping was so intense I would fall to the floor in the midst of a cramp, the spotting became very heavy bleeding and I couldn’t keep anything down. This was the start of three days in and out of the hospital or doctors offices for a miscarriage.

No, we didn’t know we were pregnant. It wasn’t planned and at the moment I have to say I’m glad we didn’t know. It was hard enough to have to go through the miscarriage when I didn’t know and deal with all the side effects and unexpected emotions. I couldn’t imagine how much harder it would have been had I known. We weren’t trying but if I had known I would have been thrilled, excited and expectant like most women are only to be devastated when things went wrong.

The miscarriage is in the end stages now and you’d all of that is busy enough but Saturday morning C woke me up because our roof is now leaking into the living room light fixture and its expected to rain most of the rest of the weekend. Yay! (That’s a very sarcastic yay in case you wondered). A crew won’t be able to come until Monday (maybe) to deal with the problem. At this rate I’m worried what the coming week holds for my family and I.

On a positive note though Little Miss now is walking and has been for about 2 weeks. She doesn’t walk all the time but can putter most of the way across the living room or wherever she happens to be completely unassisted including not using the furniture for support.

9 Month Wellness Check Up

I know I’ve been bad and not doing full posts lately. In fact the post previous to this took all weekend because I irefuse to write while Little Miss is up and about and I also refuse to write when C is home and it would take away from our time together. Since it’s now Monday and C is at work and Little Miss is lying next to me conked out I figured I could pop off a bit of an update post on my phone. Also, yes my baby is lying asleep next to me in bed; she’s been gassy and not resting easily lately and if it helps her sleep I don’t mind lying next to her.

Last week I took Little Miss for a 9 month wellness check up. She didn’t need any booster shots but due to her complicated birth and illness so soon after as well as her small stature we go in more often to make sure everything is alright; though we did choose to get the flu shot while there.

At this check up it was mostly a talk about her habits and what we’ve been doing as well as milestones and any concerns. I told them that we delayed solids because she wasn’t ready and it was causing her and I stress and when we finally started how she went straight to finger foods. I was a bit worried about how they would react but the doctor needed his head and Saud his youngest was the same, so we did right not forcing the issue. We also talked about Little Miss’s sleep habits and arrangements and how both C and I felt/were dealing with them.

It was interesting to talk to a male in the medical profession who was so pro attachment style parenting. In my experience most men are not for it so much as their partner has chosen to do it. C and I don’t practice any set parenting method really, we just go with what feels best and most comfortable for us as a family, but it was nice to not have a doctor raise their eyebrows over some if our choices. The doctor was even giving me some tips on things to try a little further down the road.

After chatting about development next came measuring her growth and checking Little Miss for any physical concerns. I’m happy to say she weighed in at 16 lbs 4 oz and was 27.5 inches long(tall?). I know she’s on the light side but she’s stayed on a healthy growth pattern for her. The doctor showed next Germany chart and said since she was breast fed its natural for Little Miss to be less pudgy than a formula fed baby and as long as she’s still growing to not worry over much. He said she’s just a petite baby.

Next up was needle time. We both were getting the flu shot so it was decided I would have mine first and then she would get hers in case it set her off into fits of crying or shouting. Baby didn’t even flinch. She even gave the doctor a smile a moment later as I bundled her up and out the door. She has to go back 4 weeks later to get a second dose and I’m hoping she’ll take it just as well. She was fantastic throughout the whole visit, not a single tear or meltdown and we had to wait an extra hour because the office was behind and short staffed that day. The staff couldn’t believe how well behaved she was and how overall bubbly she is.

Just A Quickie

This isn’t a fulll post I just had to say before i forget that Little Miss sprouted a 4TH! Yes, 4th tooth yesterday afternoon. Less then a month ago she had none and now she has her bottom two front teeth and her top two lateral incisors. No sign yet of her two front teeth but who knows at this rate. This morning I also got a shock when as I was washing the pump parts and she was crawling around I turned to check on her after about 30 seconds and she’d gone from playing on her knees to standing on her feet holding onto the cats kitty condo.

Standing! On her own! Next will be taking her first steps without her Mommy or Daddy supporting her. I’m so proud and so sad at the same time. It’s so gratifying to see our parenting choices and how we’ve chosen to let her explore and learn with minimal boundries work for who Little Miss is becoming. I know it’s not a method everyone chooses but for us it seems right and she’s enjoying getting to roam where she will. Our only true restrictions are the washroom where the litter box is and the kitchen cabinets. It’s fascinating to see how Little Miss seems to stay on one level of developement after mastering a new skill for a few weeks and the BANG! a new skill emerges ahead of schedule, usually taking us completely by surprise.

Yet, it also makes me sad to know that with every skill mastered she needs us a little bit less. I know logically that’s what parenting is and what we all hope our children are able to do but it still hurts in my heart to see her slowly moving away from me. I know it will be a long time before it happens and we’re just observers with the occassional chance to be on the front line in her life but I can’t help missing her already. I miss the tiny little newborn bundle of love and joy she was on her first day. I just hope that as she continues to grow and reach new milestones she still looks to us for adulation and support and at least for the next few years feels we’re the most important and cool people in her life. I hope she contiues to grow and master anything tries and becomes a strong independent young woman but that she lets us be there to watch and wonder at the person she has become.